Exploring the causes of a child’s introverted behaviour and support with Hellinger Therapy

A young, sweet mother of three contacted me, asking for an online consultation due to his son’s unexplainably changed behavior. It begun by him starting fights at kindergarten then things at
home took a turn for the worst as well. The loving family was baffled by the outbursts of rage and crying fits and he caused his mum a lot of heartache by refusing any of her attempts to cuddle or show affection.


During the consultation we started to look for the root cause of this problem. We have found on the mothers side that 4-5 generations ago there lived a child to whom this boy was strongly connected
on the soul level. It’s almost as if he’s seen the world through that child’s eyes. His entire life experience was under the influence of this long lost family member.
This child, who lived a long time ago had a very challenging life as he was born with a disability. His parents, simple village folk, were ashamed and embarrassed by his condition and were unable
to accept it.

The mother was deeply saddened to see what kind of family history they had. She wanted to do something to heal the past. To continue, she said :


Dear beloved ancestor! I deeply regret that you have never received the love and care in your childhood that should have been your birthright. I keep you close to my heart. I welcome you withlove in the playground of my inner child.


During the consultation we went deeper into charting the generations. My client stood up to all the other participants in her thoughts first then said the appropriate words of release to each and every one of them.
My client was visibly relived so it was time to turn our attention to her relationship with her own son.
As soon as we tuned into the energy of the situation we felt as if there was a ‘glass door with a bad mother pattern’ on it. As if the little boy could only perceive her through this image thus was unable to connect to her or to anybody else.
So, during the consultation we have showed him (figuratively of course as during the online consultations we work with inner images) the other mother, the other child, the other fate.
So now he was able to differentiate between his own mum and the other, bad mother.

He could even say, on his behalf:


Beloved mother, I can see you now. And I can also see the other mother, who isn’t you. I am so sorry that she was the way she was and I am so happy that you are the way you are. I thank you for my life, my siblings, my father. I am grateful for your love. That other story has nothing to do with me. I belong to you, mum.


Finally, we said on behalf of the little boy to the ancient, hurt little child:


Dear ancestor! I can see you now. I can see your fate. I can see that you are you and I am me. I am deeply sorry for what you had to go through and I know that a great injustice has been done to you. But I cannot carry the burden of your fate as it is yours and yours only. Please, look down on
me with love even though I am growing up in a loving, caring family. I am going to play a lot and give and receive love from my parents and siblings, in your memory as well.


Two days after our session the young mother wrote to me saying that she cannot see any difference, if anything, the little one is even more tense than ever. I reassured her that this can happen sometimes and he needs even more love and patience than before. A bit over two weeks
later I have received another message where she wrote: My little boy have changed so much! He’s now cuddly, affectionate and so well behaved! Thank you so much!

You can see this article in Hungarian here.